Food Review: Something, Clarkston

Clarkston’s trendiest new eatery — and the man behind the counter — was on the tip of everyone’s tongue before the first eggs hit the frying pan.

Something; it’s better than nothing — it’s both the tagline for the place, and possibly restauranteur Justin Valmassoi’s marketing technique.

The man behind that brutally honest job advert posted on Gumtree back in May (‘Looking for someone fast, progressive and not a total **** for a new restaurant in Clarkston’) definitely grabbed some attention for an otherwise unassuming spot on Clarkston’s main street. But does Something live up to its name and firebrand reputation? Well, there was only one way to find out...

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The other half and I grabbed a midweek lunch, eager to try Justin and wife Cassandra’s take on breakfast, lunch and the bits in between (but don’t look for hollandaise around these parts, with Something “dedicated to ending the tyranny of eggs benedict”).

It’s a cool, clean sort of place complete with decent coffee (I tried The Nutella, sweet with hazelnut syrup), 50s jukebox and snappy signs telling you to be nice or don’t come back.

With half the menu made up of ‘eggs on breads (with a variety of spreads)’, it seemed only right to order up The Calabria; toasted ciabatta topped with spicy n’duja sausage and gremolata, then two sunny side up fried eggs.

Apparently it’s a favourite among single guys; so much so the staff are thinking about starting a Calabria Guys count on Instagram. I’m neither (last time I checked) but can definitely vouch for the dish.

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The n’duja is a far cry from your square or links; this Italian sausage has more than a kick, and so comes as a hot smear of red spread, complemented well by rich egg yolk. But the real success of the Calabria is in the gremolata; punchy garlic and herb paste dotted around the plate — little bursts of flavour you’ll end up chasing till every bit is hoovered up.

The OH scanned the sandwich options and went for The Gorbals; a huge soft sub roll jammed with haggis, cheese and soft onions.

In case you were in any doubt, Something’s recent social media posts include a fresh heart (spelling out ‘I heart haggis’, to be precise) — so it’s safe to say that every bit of The Gorbals is made in-house.

And the proof was in the eating; it’s a mouthful of a sandwich and very tasty, although a more substantial roll might be needed to contain Something’s soft, melting haggis before it seeps all over you.

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We shared The Adana from the ‘grainy things’ portion of the menu (spiced bulgur wheat and pomegranate and mint) and polished off the lot — a welcome change from Glasgow’s staple of ‘...and chips’ with every meal.

This place isn’t the cheapest (think westend prices) and the name isn’t exactly Google friendly, but the welcome is — contrary to what that no nonsense job ad of way back when suggested.

More importantly, Something is the breath of fresh air needed to bring Clarkston up to speed with Glasgow’s ongoing foodie revolution — which is definitely better than nothing.

18 The Toll


G76 7BG

0141 620 1110