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The Glasgow patter is known around the world as some of the funniest, so it’s no wonder that our comedians are some of the greatest in the world.
We trawled through the archives and picked out eight superbly funny one-liners and quotes from Glasgow comedians to get you chortling away.
Keep reading for 8 of the hilarious one-liners from Glasgow’s best comedians.
5. Chic Murray on his parents
"My father was a simple man; my mother was a simple woman; you see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton." | Supplied
6. Susie McCabe on ordering half pints
"You can't order half pints in Scotland. Next time you visit Scotland you try and order a half pint. That is one of the most tense conversations you'll ever have." | Assembly
7. Limmy on the weans
"She's turned the weans against us" | Contributed
8. Ford Kiernan, as Jack Jarvis, on dating advice
"Ah like the Playstation, dae you like the Playstation?" | BBC