.jpg?width=96&crop=1:1,smart)
The Glasgow patter is known around the world as some of the funniest, so it’s no wonder that our comedians are some of the greatest in the world.
We trawled through the archives and picked out eight superbly funny one-liners and quotes from Glasgow comedians to get you chortling away.
Keep reading for 8 of the hilarious one-liners from Glasgow’s best comedians.
1. Billy Connolly on empathy
“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!” | Getty Images
2. Rikki Fulton looks back on his year
"Hello, well here we are again. Doesn't time fly when you're excruciatingly happy? What a year I've had honestly as what's his name? God. As God is my judge I've had a hell of a year." | BBC
3. Frankie Boyle on train toilets
“What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you’ll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show.” | The Stand
4. Kevin Bridges on house parties
“When the kids at school found out your parents were away, news spread like wildfire. ‘Oh I hear you’re having a party.’ Having is probably the wrong word to use…you’re GETTING a party." | Submitted