Review: Tam Cowan, ‘Aff The Baw’ night at Blackfriars, Glasgow - with special guest James McFadden

You’ve heard him on the radio, you’ve seen him on the television, you’ve most likely read his unique comic style views on news and sport, as well as having a weekly restaurant review column.

Now BBC Radio Scotland presenter and passionate Motherwell fan Tam Cowan - co-host of ‘Off The Ball’ for 29 years - has embarked on a new venture, launching an ‘Aff The Baw’ series at the iconic Club 45 at Blackfriars in Glasgow’s Merchant City.

And what a rip-roaring success his first live show proved to be after inviting special guest and Scotland legend James McFadden along on Tuesday, April 25 for a no-holds-barred evening of laughs, jokes and advice on how to beat a French goalie from 40 yards!

The dark and quirky underground venue, which holds a capacity of just 100 people, provided a brilliant setting for an intimate evening chatting all things Scottish football about McFadden’s career and that infamous trip to Hong Kong to take part in the 2006 Kirin Cup.

Opening with the line “We weren’t sure if anybody was going to turn out and when you look at the place you can see why, but we do thank sincerely Josef Fritzl for letting us use his office,” Cowan instantly enagaged with his audience, drawing widespread laughter from the crowd before explaining the reason behind the name of the show.

“It’s called Aff the Baw - I know it took us f***ing months to come up with that! It’s just a wee play on words with ‘Off The Ball’”. The night was split into two sections, with event speaker Cowan spending the opening 40 minutes blethering about some memorable stories throughout his career and urging the audience not to take offence to any of his jokes.

Referring to his witty sense of humour that has got him into trouble on the odd occasion, Cowan stated: “We were fine calling this show ‘Aff The Baw’ but anywhere I go... this month was the 10th anniversary of me doing a show on STV with Michelle McManus called ‘The Hour’ which lasted... well just short of an hour. The f***ing humiliation, four weeks it lasted! 29 years doing the same radio show, 31 years in newspapers, 10 years and 154 shows on the telly... and people will still say ‘aye Tam, that was your fault because you always took the p*** out of her.’”

After a short 15 minute interval Cowan returned to introduce “a true Scotland legend, a Motherwell and Everton legend and one of the country’s greatest ever players, the one and only James McFadden” which was greeted by loud cheers and rapturous applause as he took to the stage.

Cowan opened by joking about McFadden’s general appearance, stating: “Because this isn’t a Celtic vs Rangers event, he’s just come with his denims on! The last Celtic vs Rangers game, yourself and Kris Boyd were suited and booted. Then the following Friday you’re up north covering Ross County vs Aberdeen and it was as if you were back washing motors.”

McFadden briefly discussed his involvement in the hugely successful ‘Open Goal’ podcast hosted by Simon Ferry and making the transition from playing into TV and radio punditry as a match analyst for BBC Scotland and Sky Sports.

That led Cowan to ask Faddy about his incredible strike at the Parc des Princes in Paris in September 2007 during Scotland’s famous 1-0 victory over World Cup finalists France in a Euro 2008 qualifier.

It happened in the 64th minute. Known for scoring crucial goals for club and country, McFadden took a couple of touches inside the crowded final third of the pitch after controlling goalkeeper Craig Gordon’s long ball. He then swivled and sent a ferocious dipping left-footed drive from 30 yards over the head of Mickael Landreau into the net.

Cowan exclaimed: “It’s the goal you hate talking about constantly, but we all love it. Has it become a wee bit of an albatross around your neck?”. McFadden replied: “It’s not a bad thing to be remembered for, but sometimes you think to yourself ‘all he’s ever done was score one goal’. Even then, obviously it’s still one to be proud of but then you think ‘I’ve scored quite a few good goals’.

“It was a brilliant night, but I’m not one for talking about myself,” to which Cowan interrupted by joking “I know that. He’s a very humble man. In fact James told me once that when he dies he would like the the word humble put on his statue! He’s still the only guy that’s been inducted into the Motherwell ‘Hall of Fame’ that was in tears on the stage, so he takes all these things in his stride.”

McFadden continued: “Craig (Gordon) still claims it, he says it’s the best assist he’s ever had and he’s right, it was some ball.” Asked if taking a shot from that distance was his first thought, the 40-year-old explained: “No. We trained at the stadium the night before to get used to the pitch and because France were sponsored by Adidas we had to use Adidas balls. We used Diadora ones at the time and I remember we did a bit of shooting practice and the balls were just flying all over the place. The keepers’ were struggling, so I thought that if I got a chance during the game then I would have to get a shot away.

“The first-half was a lot of running, chasing it down, holding the ball up and trying to get my team mates up the park. I consciously thought to myself ‘I’m not getting a shot away here, I need to somehow get a shot on goal’. When Craig picked me out with precision accuracy, I took a touch and went to back in expecting someone would be on me. There was no one there so then I took another touch and I remember Barry Ferguson hairing past me yelling “PASS IT, PASS IT”. I took the shot and he said “What the f*** are you doi... WHOAAAAA!”.

“I knew at that stage of the match I was going to be subbed off as well so I just had to get my shot away and thankfully it went in. Nowadays, if I was commenting on it, I would’ve been hammering the goalie for not saving it.” Cowan aimed a cheeky dig at former Motherwell boss and Scotland full-back Graham Alexander for his negative style of football during his ill-fated spell at Fir Park, stating: “I’m guessing he was shouting at you to pass it back to Craig Gordon?” which again drew plenty of laughter before adding: “He got us into Europe but, oh it was grim to watch for a while, wasn’t it boys?” aimed in the direction of a small group of Well’ supporters in the audience.

Cowan then proceeded to look back on some of McFadden’s other goals for Scotland including his strike against Holland in November 2003, jokingly taking the shine off it slightly by insisting “it took a deflection”. Quizzed over the best goal he scored throughout his playing career, McFadden admitted: “My goal for Everton against Charlton was the best one. It was just down to technique. We were going for Europe at the time and they were fighting against relegation.

“I was actually injured and had been out for 10 weeks. I came on for the last 15-20 minutes and twice the ball fell to me on the edge of the box. I’ve hit them both first-time and they’ve went out for a throw in. So I said to myself in the unlikely scenario it came to me again that I would take a touch. Madjid Bougherra chests the ball straight towards me, I then flicked it over someone’s head and caught it on the volley to score in the last minute just when Charlton thought they were getting a precious point.”

The former striker opened up on making his senior breakthrough at Motherwell under Billy Davies, which saw him cover a range of different positions including at left wing-back. Shortly after, the club were plunged into administration after experiencing financial troubles, forcing then-manager Terry Butcher to promote the club’s youth players.

That provided Cowan with a flashback to when, long before he was at Motherwell, ex-Rangers captain and England international Butcher ran a hotel with his wife in Bridge of Allan. Cowan said: “The best bit was when you went into a restaurant that you weren’t reviewing, but they thought you might be. Going back to those old restaurant reviewing days, I thought that would be a great place to go and review.

“I went up there with Stuart Cosgrove and his friend who came along with us. Terry was there to greet us and he was cutting about like Basil Fawlty with a dishtowel over his arm. I remember ordering the spaghetti and sensing an opportunity to wind Butcher up, Stuart’s pal said ‘I’ll have the spaghetti too if you think the tin will stretch to it’. Big Terry was ready to to lay into him at that point!”

McFadden then spoke about the Berti Vogts era when the German coach was “handing out Scotland caps like sweeties”. He also discussed his fall out with Craig Levein during his reign as national team manager, the decision to die his hair bright red as a teenager coming through the ranks at Motherwell and the main reason behind undergoing a hair transplant in the years to follow.

The evening was rounded off with a 30 minute Q&A, allowing the audience to pose their own questions to McFadden, which included “Did you ever get the chance to sign for Celtic?” after declaring he was brought up as a Hoops fan. McFadden said: “Before I left Motherwell to go to Everton, that whole summer centrered around rumours that Celtic were going to make a bid and I thought I was going there. But they never came in with an offer that was good enough for Motherwell to accept, so I ended up going to Everton, which I don’t regret at all.

“At the time, if you’d asked me who would I have picked, Everton or Celtic, I’d have picked Celtic but I’m glad it worked out the way it did because I moved away and played for a club I didn’t know how big they were. I got to play in the Premier League. I had a chance to sign for Celtic again when I left Birmingham City. They offered me a contract, along with Everton and Wolves at the time and I decided to go back to Everton.

“I don’t think you can have regrets in football. As a wee boy growing up, you just want to make it and play football. Your big dream is always to go and play for the club that you support but I was just grateful for everything that happened in my career. I’ve got the shirt framed (from the France match) and the copa mundial boots are in the Hampden museum.”

McFadden branded a young Wayne Rooney as the best player he had played alongside at club level, and named Darren Fletcher and Barry Ferguson as the best international team-mate during his career. As for his toughes opponent, Arsenal’s ‘Invincibles’ and Ronaldo were mentioned but the joint honour went to ex-Republic of Ireland full-back Stephen Carr and former Rangers centre-back Craig Moore.

Finally, McFadden touched on Alex McLeish’s influence on his career and the current progress of the national team under Steve Clarke to send the audience home in jovial mood.

Tickets are now on sale for the second edition of ‘Aff The Baw’ with Scotland, Celtic and West Ham icon Frank McAvennie lined up as the next special guest. Priced at £16.75, this event is excellent value for money and is a night not to be missed. To purchase tickets, visit https://www.skiddle.com/whats-on/Glasgow/Club-45--Blackfriars-Of-Bell-St/Tam-Cowans-Aff-The-Baw/36344911/.