Lewis Capaldi says his Netflix documentary made him realise Tourette’s and anxiety ‘were taking over my life’

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Lewis Capaldi says the first draft of his Netflix documentary was ‘depressing’ amid mental health issues

Lewis Capaldi has revealed that watching his Netflix documentary ‘How I’m Feeling Now’ made him realise the extent to which his Tourette’s and anxiety were “taking over” his life.

The documentary follows the singer on his journey to write his second album, with exceedingly high expectations after the success of his first. It explores Lewis’ relationship with fame and success and the effects this has had on his mental health, including panic attacks and a Tourette Syndrome diagnosis.

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‘How I’m Feeling Now’ was released on April 5 ‘How I’m Feeling Now’ was released on April 5
‘How I’m Feeling Now’ was released on April 5

The singer, 26 from Glasgow, told The Independent that he didn’t know how bad his mental health had gotten until he watched the footage back.

Lewis said: “When I saw the first draft, it was so depressing, I was surprised I didn’t die at the end! I mean, there’s always the sequel.”

He also opened up about the extent of his panic attacks, which had become all consuming. During the documentary, Lewis showed that he had to take a break from writing his second album because of his worsening mental health.

Lewis has spoken about the extent of his mental health problems Lewis has spoken about the extent of his mental health problems
Lewis has spoken about the extent of his mental health problems

“When I have a panic attack, it feels like I’m going insane, completely disconnected from reality,” he tells the camera in the documentary. “I can’t breathe. I can’t feel my breath going in. I get dizzy. I feel like there’s something happening to my head. I’m sweating.”

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“My whole body starts to do what my shoulder does. Like pure convulsing. The big thing for me with it is, I’m always going to feel like this now, this is me. F***. This is it. Either I feel like I’m going to be stuck like that forever, or I’m going to die.”

Previously, Lewis told fans that he may have to stop making music and performing altogether, as his career causes his physical and mental symptoms to worsen. 

Speaking to The Times, he said: "It’s only making music that does this to me, otherwise I can be fine for months at a time, so it’s a weird situation.

"Right now, the trade-off is worth it, but if it gets to a point where I’m doing irreparable damage to myself, I’ll quit,” Lewis added.

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He also admitted that he can spend up to seven hours on the phone to his mum, Carol, as she tries to calm him down from the panic attacks that make him feel like “he’s going insane.” He reflected on being “an anxious person” before his rise to fame, and this anxiety was seemingly amplified by having “his world turned upside down.”

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